We received a phone call from the swimming pool to say in 6 days time Star’s swimming teacher would like her to move to a class where she swims without a parent in the pool.
I agreed, put down the phone and my mind started racing.
Month: May 2016
Loving in a storm
When we adopted a child from the care system I expected to grieve for the neglect and abuse that she had suffered in her birth family.
I did not expect to grieve for the fact that she was failed so badly while in care.
I See You
Guest Post – Author unknown
I See You
I see you running your child to therapy when your friends are running their kids to Little League or ballet
I see you slipping out of the conversation when your friends are all chiming in about milestones and test grades.
I see you constantly juggling appointments and meetings.
I see you sitting at your computer for hours researching what your child needs.
I see you cringe when people whine about what feels like petty things.
I see you spread thin but still going the extra mile for your family.
I see you digging for depths of strength you never dreamed you had.
I see you showing appreciation to the teachers, therapists and medical professionals who serve your child with you.
I see you rising early in the morning to do it all again after another chaotic night.
I see you when you’re hanging on to the end of your rope for dear life.
I know you feel invisible, like nobody notices any of it. But I want you to know I notice you. I see you relentlessly pushing onward. I see you keep choosing to do everything in your power to give your child the best possible care at home, in school, at therapy and the doctor.
What you’re doing matters. It’s worth it.
On those days when you wonder if you can do it another minute, I want you to know I see you. I want you to know you’re beautiful. I want you to know it’s worth it. I want you to know you aren’t alone. I want you to know love is what matters most, and you have that nailed.
And on those days when you have breakthroughs, those times when the hard work pays off and success is yours to cherish, I see you then too, and I am proud of you.
Whichever day today is, you’re worthy, you’re good and I see you.
Genesis 16:13
‘She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me’
Prenatal Diagnosis of Down Syndrome: What I wish I could tell my patients
Please allow me to introduce myself. I am a family doctor (GP) working in the UK. I am also mother to three children aged 8, 6 and 5. My children are full of energy, love and mischief. My youngest daughter also has Down syndrome.
Continue reading “Prenatal Diagnosis of Down Syndrome: What I wish I could tell my patients”
The Day Star first went to church
It was an unusual Sunday for several reasons:
Firstly we arrived early (we are usually late for everything.)
Secondly, Eddie and I weren’t on any rotas -not playing in band, not leading prayers, not helping with crèche.
Because of the two points above we sat in a different pew to normal; in the centre near the back.
I hadn’t been to church for about 6 weeks because I had been staying at home with Star. Helping her to settle and feel safe in our forever family. We did not know how she was going to cope, with so many people, or with noise or with quiet!
Star, age 4, had never been to a church.
And so we sat as a family of 5 for the very first time, together on the same pew.
Adopting Star: About me
Hello and thank you for visiting my blog.
I am a family doctor (GP) in the UK, I am married and have two birth children, Hannah (7) and Ben (5), our youngest daughter Star (4) joined our family through adoption.
Star is beautiful, she lights up the room. She is truly one of the most brave and resilient people I have ever met. Oh yes, she also happens to have Down syndrome.
I began writing the blog when Star had been living with us for just under a year. And what a year it had been!!! I felt like there were so many experiences we had lived through but that I had not processed. Writing my blog helps me to do that.
What if Star’s Cuddly toys could speak?
At the end of Hannah’s bed (and under it and down the side)
she has many, many teddy bears. The bear my brother Robin bought her when I was pregnant – we named him Endevour bear (after Inspector Morse), there is a big bunny that he bought her for her first Christmas. Next to them is Hetty the hedgehog, my treasured teddy that I was given on my first Christmas. I gave Hetty to my eldest daughter to help her not be afraid of the dark. I whispered to her about all the nights (20 years worth) that I slept holding Hetty and that if she held Hetty tightly she would sleep well like I had done….
Adoption and Mothering Sunday
We are approaching our first Mothers’ Day as an adoptive family. And this quote is frequently on my mind:
“A child born to another woman calls me “Mummy” the depth of that tragedy and the enormity of that privilege are not lost on me.” (Jody Landers)
Tragedy and privilege.
Two mothers approaching Mothering Sunday, one will receive cards, smiles, chocolatey kisses, crafts from school and clubs, the other lives in a house, once full, but now empty of children.
Sometimes the weight of that tragedy is overwhelming. We have photos of Star’s first mother, we know where she went to school, the things she enjoyed doing and some of the choices she made.
There are so many questions I would like to ask her “why?”
“why did you choose to do that, why him?”
“why couldn’t you (or wouldn’t you) accept help?”
Sometimes there is just anger and “how could…
View original post 585 more words
Scars: Hold my hand, Lord
“Hold my hand LORD
Walk with me through my pain and valley of my sorrow
Hold on to me when I am too afraid to think about tomorrow
Let me lean on you LORD
When I am too weary to go on
Hold my hand through the dark
Until I reach the light of dawn.”
“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41v 13
Adopting Star 