One month after Star came home, my Dad was taken ill in London.
I was torn. There was no way Star could cope with a journey to London, and as her new primary attachment figure ideally she needed to stay with me. I needed to see my Dad.
So we prayed about it and came up with what we thought was a good plan. Hannah and I would go to London for 24 hours to visit my Dad. Star would stay at home with Eddie and Ben.
Except when I arrived, I got sick too and spent 48 hours in bed with a fever.
When I had the strength to drive home again I was shattered and spent the next few days just surviving, looking after three young children and resting as much as possible. I felt guilty that I was not able to do all those attachment forming things that I had read about it all those books and that I had been separated from Star…..
One afternoon, while Hannah and Ben were at school I put a Veggie Tales DVD on for Star and snoozed on the sofa as she sat next to me. It was a story about these funny little cartoon creatures, called Snoodles. They are Teardrop shaped with a pouch and wings. The pouch was for storing drawing pencils and paint brushes, and the wings were for flying.
A young Snoodle tried to learn to fly, and the others laughed at him and they mocked his attempts to paint. You see these older creatures did not think their pouches were for drawing utensils or their wings for flying, they were not using their bodies the way they were designed to be and were mocking anyone else who tried.
This is quite a cruel story for children I thought….
After sometime the now dejected and bruised young snoodle meets his creator who LOVES his paintings and tells him that he did not give him wings so that he could fly…..
…..his wings are made for soaring.
And, in that moment, I believe God spoke to me about Star:
“I have given her wings,
They are not simply for flying,
One day she will soar.”
To Star I am adoptive mother, chief advocate, new primary attachment figure. My role is to teach her to feel safe, to give and receive love, to learn, to grow ….and.. to fly.
And, one day I believe I will stand back and watch her soar.
Photo: Veggie Takes and Pixabay